Week 1-tUE

Day 2 – Encouraging Words

Verse:

Proverbs 16:24 – "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Lesson: Words are powerful.  They can build up or tear down, inspire courage or sow doubt. Children carry our words with them long after the moment has passed. Encouraging words affirm their worth, boost confidence, and shape their understanding of God’s love.  Encouragement isn’t about empty praise, it’s about truth spoken with love. Simple statements like “I believe in you” or “You worked hard and it shows” leave impressions that last a lifetime. Your words have the power to plant seeds of faith, hope, and resilience in your children’s hearts.

Reflection: Ask yourself: “Am I uplifting my children, or am I settling for criticism, sarcasm, or silence?”  Your children notice your tone, your choice of words, and the way you respond in everyday moments. If your words don’t reflect love, affirmation, and encouragement, you are teaching them by default what not to say, how not to act, and how to doubt themselves. Don’t settle for that.

Insight: (Talent Code- Daniel Coyle)

In 1998, psychologist Carol Dweck studied 400 fifth-grade students in New York to see how mindset affects learning and achievement. Its goal was to see how much a tiny signal - a single sentence of praise - can affect performance and effort,and what kind of signal is most effective.  

First, Dweck gave every child a test that consisted of fairly easy puzzles.  Afterward the researcher informed all the children of their scores, adding a single six-word sentence of praise.  Half of the kids were praised for their intelligence (“You must be smart at this”), and half were praised for their effort (“You must have worked really hard”).

The kids were tested a second time, but this time they were offered a choice between a harder test and an easier test.  Ninety percent of the kids who’d been praised for their effort chose the harder test.  A majority of the kids who’d been praised for their intelligence, on the other hand, chose the easy test.  Why?  “When we praise children for their intelligence,” Dweck wrote, “we tell them that that’s the name of the game: look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.”

The third level of tests was uniformly harder; none of the kids did well.  However, the two groups of kids - the praised-for-effort group and the praised-for-intelligence group responded very differently to the situation.  “[The effort group] dug in and grew very involved with the test, trying solutions, testing strategies,” Dweck said.  “They later said they liked it.  But the group praised for its intelligence hated the harder test.  They took it as proof they weren’t smart.”

The experiment then came full circle, returning to a test of the same difficulty as the initial test.  The praised-for-effort group improved their initial score by 30 percent, while the praised-for-intelligence group’s score declined by 20 percent.  All because of 6 short words.  Dweck was so surprised at the result that she reran the study five times.  Each time, the result was the same.

Next time your child aces a test, resist the urge to shout, "You're a genius!" Instead, look them dead in the eye and say, "Wow, you really worked hard!" This helps them understand that effort is the key, and that learning is always worth the risk of looking slightly less brilliant than you are.  

Family Mantra: "Words build worlds."

Prayer: Father, help me to speak words that lift and encourage my children. Teach me to notice their efforts, celebrate their growth, and guide them with love. Guard my tongue from criticism and impatience, and fill my speech with affirmation that points them to You. May my words plant seeds of confidence, faith, and hope in their hearts. Amen.